Wednesday, January 26th, 2020.
As January draws to an end, we sit in our houses with lights and heating out and our masks on because of energy prices and foul breath.
Russia is on the brink of annexing Ukraine which could mean all-out nuclear war with the United States if Joe Biden can remember where he put the keys to the Nuclear Codes. The only positive outcome could be that Putin would still allow Ukraine to take part in the Eurovision Song Festival.
Fearlessly Boris Johnson threatened Russia if it should invade Ukraine, Putin retaliated by buying the last two properties in central London that aren’t already in Russian ownership.
The E.U. has also issued threats to Putin, saying action on his part would mean sanctions and the creation of sub-committees to investigate further sanctions after first investigating the possibility to create a think tank that would work out suggestions of retaliatory actions. ( P.S. can we still get that gas)
NATO sources say that Ukraine is strictly speaking not in the North Atlantic and thus cannot receive help.
In the UK Boris Johnson denies all knowledge of the Covid 19 rules he created saying he must have been drunk when he signed off on them.
During Prime Ministers Questions in Parliament, the PM said that any breach of the rules on his part is counteracted by the washing of his hands in innocence. (Innocence is like Dettol but less effective) . The Conservative party is very worried about Boris Johnson’s lies, a spokesperson told us ‘Many Conservative MPs are worried that Boris Johnson has discredited the fine art of lying which has long been a mainstay of the Party’. Boris Johnson is not worried about a leadership vote as long as he can hold it off long enough to give all his children the right to vote. In another move, Jacob Rees_Mogg told Nanny that he would never lie.
The Queen has announced she stands firmly behind Prince Andrew for personal safety reasons.
Greece has had more than a meter of snow, scenes were horrific, some climate experts are calling it ‘Acropolice Now’ (see what I did there?)
