Stuff my phone tells me to do.
Eat better, find yourself, try this miracle weight loss programme, do these exercises, try this green stuff, eat more bananas - eat less bananas, Avocados do it, upload more content, be happy, relax with this special cushion, watch this endless series, like this, like me, give a like, follow me, follow him , follow her, check your gender pronouns, watch your age, switch your phone off, buy crypto currency, sell it sell it sell it, hate this bloke - cos he’s a man, love this woman-because she’s a woman, retweet, repost rewind, buy this new podcast studio, listen to this 56 hour podcast by this macho Neanderthal, use generalisations to fight discrimination, hate old people (just because they made it) , hate young people because they have a longer future, scroll, scroll, watch ads, order on line now! Order on line now!
Use this celebrity’s death to get more likes, pretend to be sad, look at me! Look at me! Look at me!… press the button turn it off.
Stuff I tell myself to do.
Exercise more, read more, write more, ignore memes, ignore ego tripping psychos, scroll less, act like everything is ok, head up - shoulders back,
Eat healthy, try not to be a tosser, act like you know what you’re doing, listen to happy music, don’t listen to doomsday prophets, save the planet (if you have time), have fun (remember that?) , live your life, live your life, smile at strangers… try and get through the day.
What the government tells me to do.
Pay your taxes, obey the law, respect the police, don’t take drugs, vote, don’t litter, recycle, spend money, work, work, work, don’t think, don’t ask questions, stay healthy, shop local, believe what we tell you, pay us, keep your dog on a lead, turn the music down unless it’s sponsored, invest in concrete, love war, hate climate activists, news is like a blow job, don’t spit it out swallow it… homemade poison… don’t vote, drop out.
What my brain tells me…
Social media is poison, stop scrolling, don’t try to compete do what makes you happy, write more like nobody is going to read it anyway, stop believing all the ‘on-line Gurus tell you, follow your own truth, follow your own beliefs, don’t eat meat, play the music that makes you happy, make people laugh, don’t take yourself too seriously, remember we all die in the end, life isn’t a race make it a stroll, ‘winners and losers’ is terminology that causes stress, it’s used to enhance the rat race. Life is about life, with all the ups and downs, disappointments and succeses, take them all with the same grains of salt. Relax more, sleep well, stop thinking something special will happen, it’s already happening. Don’t follow hypes,
What makes me laugh.
Adults watching the Barbie film while wearing pink, sheeple.
Us thinking we can turn climate change around.
Listening to people who think race makes us different.
People who trust God but still pay insurance.
Me trying to follow a diet.
Holiday makers complaining about forest fires.
People who call themselves ‘animal lovers’ having a BBQ.
Me trying to organise my life.
Me thinking anybody will ever read all this.
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