The Brain trainer.

 Here I sit again, wondering how much time I will waste today, whether it will be spent scrolling or doing random things instead of planning. I get things done, but it seems all so unorganised, so random. Always chasing my tail sort of thing. There still seems to be a creative door in my head that is closed; it needs to open, but I can’t seem to find the key. Behind the door, I can vaguely hear creative thoughts trying to get out. I try to understand what they are saying and use them, but the sound muffles behind the door. I carry on, hoping to keep myself well-trained and fit for when the door eventually opens and creativity bursts forth.

I must say it feels good just ignoring the practical work I have to get done today and just sit here and aimlessly type words, not a story, just the random stuff that flies through my mind. It feels good knowing I will not be judged by this; it may or may not be read by others after my demise, but for me, it’s total freedom. 

In the world we live in today, there doesn’t seem to be any creative privacy. Everything we create is put out and judged before it has time to ripen. We all expect artists to continually produce a perfect product; there is no time to watch things grow. But I will keep writing, keep hitting the keys, and hope that my brain will bring forth what I want to say. This is a hobby, brain fitness, call it what you want but I love it, the fact that I can just type and follow the impulses that flow from my brain to my fingertips, it doesn’t need judgement it needs applause, as when people applaud the last person arriving at the finish of a marathon run, enthousiastic support, accepting the effort and not the result.