This blog is just personal scribble, thoughts and comment from me, with no actual pretence of being anything other than that. Enjoyable for some, irritating for others, that I'm sure of. Have fun.
Authenticity Paradox. A man once asked me, “Who are you?” Back then, I couldn’t answer him. I was in India, searching for myself and trying to figure out who I really was. Later, I realised the real me was schizophrenic. So even now, it depends on how I feel. That last part was a joke, by the way. Can you picture a spiritual person with schizophrenia, always searching for themselves? That would be a quest with no end. Anyway, moving on. I often wonder who I really am. I don’t have many real friends—maybe none—and I never feel comfortable in large groups of people who aren’t me. What does it even mean to be ‘authentic’? Once you start thinking about it, you can’t really be it. Chasing authenticity is like searching for the holy grail—does it even exist? If you read too many books or watch too many YouTube gurus talk about authenticity, you end up so focused on it that it just turns into a kind of ‘cosplay’. This is how I act when I’m trying to be authentic… Humans are funny. The b...
The Day. The days creep by, nothing really happens, everything is ordered except the chaos in my mind. I usually wake up around 7 am, lie awake for 10 minutes, then I go downstairs and grind the coffee beans ready for breakfast. Routine is good; it gives a sense of order. After breakfast, my wife and I went ‘shopping’ for the few essentials we thought we might need during the day. We’re not the sort of people who stock up on food; we get our daily meals from the local shops. We don’t plan ahead. We also have plenty of local shops selling fresh vegetables and fruit, great bakeries, and small supermarkets. We live in a multi-cultural area, which is fast becoming taken over by the ‘trendy middle class,’ the guys with ‘man buns, the cargo bicycles with children as freight. The people who sit in coffee bars, taking an hour to drink a coffee while they stare at a laptop screen, giving the impression that they have a job of some kind. It seems this is always the way: the run-down areas ...
Thursday, the 7th of May ’26. A simple cold A blocked nose, a cough, regular bouts of sneezing and a horrible slime that should be spit out. A regular cold, nothing more and nothing less, leading to sleepless nights and interference in my daily routine. I won’t die from it; it will have no long-lasting effects on my general health; it’s just 48 hours of my life put on hold while some invasive virus fights it out with my bodily defence system. I’m just the vessel that hosts this tussle. I drink hot tea, clear my nose every 5 minutes, dress up warm but keep the house well ventilated, and wait until it passes. We call it a cold, and yet I sweat my way through the night. The absurdity of life, us humans thinking of ourselves as masters of the world - check - the universe even, and yet the wrong little virus entering our system can annoy us no end, some can even kill us or eventually wipe us out. We’re only as strong as the latest virus is weak. Recently, we have all been made aware o...
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