Self help.

Okay, so I’ve now read all these books on self improvement, the ‘How to’s’ and ‘overnight success’ techniques , I think I’m ready for life now. Although I’m sat here looking at this blank page and none of my friends are answering my calls and messages and I’ve nothing to do on this Saturday night, so obviously I’ve missed a book somewhere. 

While I was reading everyone else was out socialising, getting the practical skills, but if they ever need the theory behind it ,they can give me a call. 

There is a huge industry out there of people telling us how to do everything, a whole market of books telling me how to earn money (step one write a ‘how to’ book) , get a life , get a job, start a blog, get a career, earn shitloads of money. All written by people who are so say experts in the given field. I read all that shit, any improvement I’m up for it. I’m the renovator of my own being, well I read the books anyways. 

How the fuck primitives got around to inventing the wheel, starting fires, farming and killing huge animals without any of this help only google knows. 

But they did it! although they were probably doing it the wrong way which is why they never had time to have hobbies or read books and self help themselves into a better person, and because they never got the knowledge, they evolved into us.

How not to.

After reading all the ‘how to’ books I’ve decided to get into all the ‘how not to’ books. Yes, there is also a market in what not to do , sort of ‘how to be perfect’ sorta stuff. 

How not to get fat, old,  cholesterol, herpes, poor, lonely, bored or mad. 

Next up will be the ‘how you can save the world’ books. Gonna learn how to recycle, to live cheaper, live responsibly. I’m gonna learn how to make stuff from garbage, grow stuff I can eat, feed from a window box. 

I’m almost there almost perfect just a few more books and I’ll be there. 

At the end I’ll write my own book ‘Read this shit if you must, but I’m off for a beer’ .