'Others'

Good afternoon, although I don’t know you, may I wish you and your family a safe and healthy voyage through this pandemic? Stay safe. 

How many people do we see during an average day? Lots and lots, of course, most of them we don’t know personally, so they might as well be shadows, or robots that pass us by on the street. We don’t pay any attention to most people, unless they look weird/scary/peculiar or get in our way, block a parking space, ask for money, annoy us in any way. 

We are aware of all the people around us, and that we are just part of the ‘human herd’, but we ignore most people because we can’t handle more people than our family and friend groups (our bubbles as they say since Covid19), according to specialists on the subject it seems that we can handle roughly 100 to 150 people in different levels of familiarity. 

We all know people from the pub, from work, from football matches, neighbors, people we see every day but have not much contact with. To say we ‘know’ them is an exaggeration, we don’t know much about them usually, they aren’t in the ‘inner circle’. But we’ll say ‘hi’ if we see them in the street. 

Today was my turn to do the ‘big shop’ that means go to the local supermarket and get provisions in, the stuff we all need, not the day to day things but the bulkier stuff that’s not easily perishable. I was up for it, list- check, bags- check but one thing I did forget was to set my alarm clock last night so instead of getting to the store at around 9 when it is relatively quiet I didn’t get there until 11 am, a busy time of day and a fatal mistake because I had also forgotten something else- my patience and zen-like peacefulness. It started in the car park, somebody in a tractor like jeep taking up two parking spaces was my first irk. That was just the start. 

I wear glasses and having to wear a mask in the store is annoyance nr 2 because my glasses steam up every time I exhale so I shop without glasses and as result have to get up close to read the labels on some products. 

This is all chickenfeed irritation compared to ‘the others’… the ones that leave their trolley in the middle of an aisle, the ones that feel/squeeze and pinch goods and put them back, the ones that swap lanes at the checkout, get in the ‘pay by card line while only having cash or vice versa, the ones that see shopping as a social get together around a trolley encampment. 

Today was unusually busy, it seemed like everyone’s stress levels were up, probably expecting a more stringent lockdown during the week. 

This being said I was pretty stressed out myself by the time I got to the check-out. While I was loading my ‘spoils’ into the boot of the car, another car was waiting behind me, engine running to take the space after me, and the driver kept revving her motor as if to say ‘hurry up’, it goes without saying that I didn’t hurry, by this time I was rebelling against any friendly feelings toward my fellow man/woman. 

On the way home I was cut up twice by other drivers, a screen zombie on a bicycle cycled out in front of me on a busy road, and there were roadworks on my favorite route. Do I need to explain my mental state when I got home? 

After unpacking and storing the food and other stuff away, I had ginger tea and tried to relax. I started to go over my shopping experience in my mind. 

‘I wonder how others experienced me?’ Did I unintentionally get in someone else’s way without realizing it? All I want to say is this, we experience ‘others’ (the ones we don’t know) as at best a nuisance, at worst the enemy. But we don’t know their ‘stories’, the person blocking the aisle might be confused because someone near to them is ill or worse, the person switching cash-out lanes might be in a hurry because they are juggling two jobs to provide for their family, we don’t know. Every person that passes us in the street has a story, it’s impossible for us to know them all, but we can try and acknowledge the fact. Not all people are out to ‘get us’, maybe they’re just having a bad day. 

Cemeteries are full of unpublished biographies, appreciate that we aren’t alone on this rock and that our ‘problems’ might be the least of all problems. 

Note to self- set the alarm clock, shop early, relax, take your time, acknowledge others, and be part of the herd.