Bad Investment.


It's nearing the end of the Holiday period, and business is gradually restarting at 'God and the Universe- Inc.' After two or three millennia of well-earned rest. 

The board of Directors, Owner, and CEO God Almighty are sitting around the Table at headquarters, to discuss the last million-year reports and the checks and balances. 


(God) "So, welcome back, everyone. I hope you all had a great vacation, but it's time to get back to work." "Any big news?"


(The accountant) "Well, about the universe, generally things are going as planned, and we are, in fact, expanding as we had intended"


(God) "Great news, it seems like we can just sit back and relax". 


(The Accountant) There is one hitch, tiny but worth looking at. I don't know if you remember, but we started that experiment with one of the planets in that quiet corner of the Milky Way. On one of its distant arms, we called the planet 'Earth', remember? 


(God) In fact, I do, the experiment with 'IL', intelligent life, how's that working out? 


(The Accountant) Well, I've had my interns take a look at it during the holidays, and it's not going quite as planned. When we programmed what ' intelligence' entails, we might have left out some crucial parts. 


(God) What do you mean? Are the Humans malfunctioning? Did we forget to give them all they would need to develop as we intended? 


(The Accountant) No, everything they needed was in place, so they could live and prosper and develop their intelligence. But… we forgot to programme them with the ability to realise that they are just a speck of dust as far as the rest of the universe is concerned. The only programming error I can think of that has caused the malfunction is that they think, ahem, they think that you personally guide them… and I believe they are interpreting that all wrong. 


(God) Me? OK, I made the plan for the experiment, but I have the entire universe to take into account. I though the experiment would evolve as it should without interference. What's the main problem? 


(Accountant) Well, actually, there are two. The first is that these Humans don't even agree on who you are. Maybe we should have programmed a bit more information on you, but now they disagree among themselves, and reports say that in some cases, they attack and kill each other because of the disagreements on who you are. 


(God) What? But that's insane, didn't we give them a 'thou shalt not kill' algorithm to counter that? 


(The Accountant) Yes, we did, but a virus might have got to it. We are trying to sort that out as we speak. 


(God) You said two problems. What's the second? 


(The Accountant) Well… They are starting to believe that they are the centre of the universe and in charge of it, they are starting to believe that they are actually you, not all of them, but some of their so-called 'leaders'. 


(God) So the system we had in place is failing? What are these 'leaders' you talk of? Is the 'All are equal' algorithm also contaminated? 


(The Accountant) I'm afraid so. They are also not sharing everything we gave them to succeed, such as the food and minerals. They have developed a fixation on 'power', and a few Humans have taken over everything to the disadvantage of the majority. And - get this- they endanger themselves voluntarily by destroying the planet we gave them. 


(God) It sounds like the 'Intelligence' hardware is totally failing. Can you rewire the whole thing? There are no other planets available to them at this time, and I wouldn't want to spread the virus by giving them an alternative. 


(The Accountant) Well, I wouldn't say the experiment has totally failed, but it does need tweaking, or it will ultimately fail.


(God) Medamn it! A God just can't get any rest around here. Are we shutting it down? Or should we continue? 


(The Accountant) Well, it's only a small part of the universe as we know, and should we shut it down, it wouldn't have an effect on the rest, but there again, we've put a lot of effort into it so I say let's just keep an eye on it for a while and see how it develops. 


(God) Trying to run a business is hard, and the problems are usually in the small parts. OK, we won't shut it down just yet, but keep an eye on it, I wouldn't want it contaminating the rest. 




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